Cleaning and Packing

Chuck left today. I got home from Bandidos just in time to say goodbye and stand in the doorway, leaning against the frame with one knee bent, foot on opposite knee, arms folded, watching my little Chuck go off into the real world, to start work as a Lieutenant in Oklahoma, not knowing the next time I would see him, only vaguely aware that this isn't goodbye, really, just a very very very prolonged See ya, chick!
That's what Chuck called me. Chick.
Or Edna.
You never have enough time when friends visit. But we had fun. I got Chuck and Kyle free quesadillas and tacos from Bandidos. Me and Chuck sat around the house reading fantasy novels and playing Call of Duty: Black OPS (respectively) every night he was here, like he'd never left to go to Virgina for four months, like no time had passed between now and last August. He even brought balmy almost-August weather with him. He's the only other person I know that is completely okay with my preference to stay in, he doesn't question it. In fact, he stays in too, I give him an excuse to leave the bar early or never go at all, and then it would be me and Chuck, sitting in silence reading and playing and listening to rap music.
We went to St. Mikes and drank and played darts. We hung out at Lauren and Ryan's house where we watched the eclipse before I made Kyle and Chuck leave early with me because I had to work the next morning, and did not want to go on a block walk in 20 degree weather, eclipse or no eclipse. He went with me when I applied at Waterworks for the cocktail waitress position advertised on Craigslist because I have huge anxiety about going in and applying at places. He ordered a beer as I filled the application out, and talked to the only other person in the bar besides us and the bartender. Chuck is the most congenial and welcoming person I've ever met. He can strike up a conversation and befriend anyone, it's magical, I've seen it happen. It doesn't even occur to him, it doesn't register on his radar, to be awkward or self conscious or to think twice or doubt or over-analyze.
Then we stopped at the Cupcakery where he caved to the "Buy One, Get One" cupcake special of the day (two chocolates, please) and bought a necklace for his mother for Christmas.
Now he's driving to Illinois to see his family for Christmas, then to Oklahoma and his base, to get settled and start working his 80+ hour work week. At some point in the future he will be shipped to Iraq. I am dreading that day.
I am taking a break from cleaning the house and my preparations for my 6-hour drive tomorrow. Minna and I are carpooling to save money and gas, and for the support, obviously, and the ample time we have to divulge our deepest and darkest secrets and insecurities to each other, like we always do. Then it's sunny South Florida for Christmas and gluttony, which I approach with caution and disdain. Though the food my mom and I are going to cook sounds absolutely decadent and delicious, I have only been approaching it from a theoretical point of view. I haven't actually considered the fact that I have to eat everything we are cooking, that it is expected of me. I will have to factor in exercise to compensate for all that I am going to eat over the next few days. I've been feeling especially fleshy and doughy lately. I know I have gained weight, and I am not happy about it.
I made an appointment with my therapist this morning, then called and canceled because I was too nervous to go. Adulthood is nerve-wracking.
I finished The Magicians today. What an amazing book! I've been meaning to read it for months now. I regret not reading it earlier. I regret reading it too quickly. I am impatient for the sequel to be published, in April 2011. I bought a copy for Chuck, and will buy one for Minna for Christmas. I will post a review about it soon enough, probably after Christmas.
I am starting on Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs tonight. This literary gluttony I've been indulging in since school ended is amazing. I haven't read this much in ages. I feel like a kid again!